The movie opens with a long tracking shot through the rubble of the city of Cleveland. The city is in ashes, and roving gangs prowl the streets looking for victims, looking for new kills. In the background, we hear a slow, sad, orchestral version of the Space Jam theme song, as a mournful chorus of children sings Come On And Slam And Welcome To The Jam
Close up of a mother clutching her child to keep it warm in the terrible nuclear winter of Cleveland. They rest in the shadows of once great but now deteriorating statues to LeBron James and Drew Carey, looking over the city as great monolithic, deadeyed titans, their power eroded by time and disuse.
In the distance we hear a dog barking. The child perks up, and excited, runs from his mother to the lost looking and three-legged dog that wanders through the streets. The dog barks with excitement and the child laughs. But then, suddenly, the headlights of a car come on and there is a godawful screeching as an jeep, a makeshift ironclad all decorated with heads piked by the savages inside, all screaming like demons, tears out into the main road, waving cudgels and guns and great fierce blades come speeding towards the child.
He doesn’t have time to run, only scream, before they are upon him. One of them grabs the child, and he flails wildly trying his best to wriggle himself loose. He manages, but only barely, scooping up the dog as he runs to the burning shell of a car on the side of the road, and tries to climb in to escape, to hide, to get some sort of safety. Everything is quiet for a moment, but then the glass shatters as one of the marauders shatters the window with his hand and grabs the child, and begins to pull him out of the car.
In the distance, we hear the mother scream NO! OH GOD, NO! WHY LEBRON? WHY DID YOU LEAVE?
The image of the burnt out husk of a city fades to black, as the children sing their haunting song.
In the black, suddenly we hear a voice say Y’ALL READY FOR THIS?
LeBron on the court for the Miami Heat, looking like he’s at the top of his game.
Title Card: SPACE JAM 2
By Cormac McCarthy.
I’m sorry Cleveland.