April 3, 2014

Panic attacks and unpacking my bedroom.

I’d apologize, but I can’t afford to pay someone to listen to all this stuff, so I might as well just try to get it off my chest and hope that I feel better later.

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April 3, 2014

(Source: roryblank)

April 1, 2014

The last year I lived in a dorm, on April Fools day I hid my roommate’s PS3 under a bed and told him that I traded it for heroin.

The heroin in question was a baggie of brown sugar.

April 1, 2014

I don’t want to draw. I don’t want to write. I don’t want to work. I want to ride my bike.

I don’t want to draw. I don’t want to write. I don’t want to work. I want to ride my bike.

I don’t want to draw. I don’t want to write. I don’t want to work. I want to ride my bike.

I don’t want to draw. I don’t want to write. I don’t want to work. I want to ride my bike.

I don’t want to draw. I don’t want to write. I don’t want to work. I want to ride my bike.

I don’t want to draw. I don’t want to write. I don’t want to work. I want to ride my bike.

I don’t want to draw. I don’t want to write. I don’t want to work. I want to ride my bike.

Well, maybe after my bike ride. I don’t know. Fuck it.

March 28, 2014

With DMX experiencing a resurgence from Rick And Morty, and Hulk Hogan lending his image to a webhosting platform, maybe now’s the time for DMX to consider investing in a home delivery service.

March 28, 2014

Have you ever thought that your home health regimen was lacking that certain “feeling of being waterboarded by angry merfolk for no reason”?

Try a neti pot!

March 27, 2014

After spending a good chunk of today complaining about my allergies, I completely forgot about them and decided to mow the lawn.

Because I am a fucking idiot.

March 27, 2014

Life hack: Don’t listen to Informer by Snow.
You’ll be AMAZED how much this improves your life.

5:14pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZGGwJy1BNHrp_
Filed under: dumb jokes 
March 27, 2014
Natural remedies the governmnet does nt watn you to know about uncovered

DON’T GET SWINDLED BY GOVERNMENT FATCAT “DOCTORS’ EVER AGAIN

Flu and allergy remedy:
Take 2 sticks from a nearby bog, and soak them overnight in pigs blood, and powder from a ground up DVD of Red Dawn.
Shove the twigs in your nose. No more sneezing, not now, not ever.
No how!

Cancer (all kinds)
Melt down a bunch of pewter WarHammer figurines and mix the hot metal with iodine and olive oil, and drink it. 

Small Pox Remedy:
Small Pox doesn’t exist, it was invented by the liberal elite to make you feel bad about the godly work of colonial expansion to the west. Can usually be treated by smacking yourself in the face with a copy of “The Christmas Sweater” by Glenn Beck

March 27, 2014

In the late fall of 2008, I had a brief conversation with a dude from Brave New Books, who told me with the absolute scientific certainty of a dude who sits around in a tent listening to a radio all day that because I’ve never been vaccinated for anything, I’m obviously immune to seasonal allergies (a side effect of vaccinations apparently).
Well what do you know? Turns out the dude who thinks that shiny metals are powerful space medicine has no fucking clue what he’s talking about, and I’m sneezing my fucking face off. And as an added bonus, I could die of meningitis or small pox or any other fucking Oregon Trail disease. 

Also, fun fact kids, I as a fully grown adult, in the United States, in 2014, have no vaccines. For no particular reason.