And I did a dive during one of their songs, into the pit, to catch someone’s phone, and ended up getting my hand stomped and re-opened the wound in my leg, and filling it with all of the dirt at East Side Drive in, which I know for absolutely certain included at least one man’s puke.
I never considered that Charlie Sheen was way too Advanced for the rest of us.
I guess I picked a fight with a warlock.
It’s a pretty terrifying challenge, man. It’s usually not a good idea to pick a fight with a warlock. Especially not a warlock with tiger blood, a jet fuel-tipped saber, and an army of vatican assassins. He could easily explode your face. Be careful man. He’s got a pretty high challenge rating.
… Seriously though, he’s almost as amazing as the TimeCube guy.
Part of me almost wonders if perhaps, rather than just being absolutely fucking insane, if perhaps Sheen is right, and that our brains simply can’t comprehend the beauty and majesty of his words. It’s kinda like the article Chuck Klosterman wrote suggesting that perhaps Val Kilmer is just too ADVANCED for us.
I don’t fucking care about the personal of a minor celebrity. Especially Mr. Sheen, whose career and life I really know next to nothing about. That’s beside the point. That doesn’t take anything away from how great a statement like “What was she doing with a shrimp fork in her purse” or “your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body” is comedically.
It’s absurdly self aggrandizing, brazen, and sometimes verges on Dadaist gold.
Besides, I can’t get past the sneaking feeling that what this really is is, Mr. Sheen stepping back from thinks, realizing he’s spent the last seven fucking years of his life working on Two and a Half Men, and doing everything in his power to rid himself of that nightmare. I know I’d start doing insane shit if I realized that was the highlight of my professional career.
… On the David Icke comparison also, Icke’s modern career, as one of the kings of Conspiracy Theory did start with him being a mid-range celebrity, and having a rather public meltdown. And they DO both believe that 9/11 was part of a massive conspiracy. I wouldn’t be too surprised if in a decade or so, Sheen has mellowed out and redefined himself as a newage guru with bizarre, conspiratorial underpinnings.
So there I was, minding my own business, drinking an asston of coffee, when I suddenly remembered that I do not like Governor Rick Perry. Like in a deep and abiding way. In a way that transcends politics, into personal contempt.
And then I thought it would be really funny to try to…
this, my friends, is why few people in this world will ever surpass the amazingness I find in Rory.
So there I was, minding my own business, drinking an asston of coffee, when I suddenly remembered that I do not like Governor Rick Perry. And then I thought it would be really funny to try to decontextualize him by drawing crap on his face.
Sometimes he likes to get tarted up.
Rick Perry Can also be a blank canvas, on which we can paint our own hopes and desires.
Rick Perry is afraid he just blue himself.
Rick Perry sure hates mondays.
You’ve probably never even heard of him.
Rick Perry’s going to go burn down some stave churches.
This is a look that suits him surprisingly well.
Rick Perry’s on some Dark Carnival shit.
Is Governor Perry the key to ultimate slack?
Another surprisingly good look.
There’s actually probably a lot of similarities between these two men.
It would also be pretty cool if people were to take this template and make more varieties of Rick Perry.
Is it just me or does Rick Perry look kinda like Norm McDonald?
And here without the outline
Also, if you do anything to Rick’s face, please don’t give him Joker facepaint or make him even vaguely resemble the Shepherd Fairey Hope poster. Both are played out, boring and irritating.
While I certainly cannot and will not advocate graffiti, stickers are really easy to make, and so is wheat paste, and these images happen to have a nice thick black outline around them, making them even easier to cut out after printing, and it would be even funnier to make a bunch of stickers of those and put them all over Texas.
But vandalism is illegal and I certainly don’t support anyone doing anything illegal.
Also, here’s some directions on making wheat paste.