Last night I saw a picture of John Darnielle of the The Mountain Goats and some other things, in front of a green backdrop. It reminded me of a green screen, so I decided to make a transparent PNG of John Darnielle to stick him into other pictures.
Then I decided to go ahead and put him on some nice adventures.
And then, for some reason, it turned into John Darnielle, talented and well respected songwriter and musician, stares at black metal things.
Maybe you could take the attached PNG and put him on a nice adventure. Somewhere pleasant like a beach or looking at some giraffes.
Maybe consider using the hashtag #darnielleadventures, because I’m not very good at coming up with catchy hashtags and that was the best I could think of.
To anyone complaining about getting the new U2 album, all I have to say is that’s what you get for only skimming over the end user agreement, where, in paragraph 187, it grants Apple explicit rights to put U2 albums on your computer at any point that it deems it appropriate or necessary.
The clause is actually a holdover from all the way back in 1989, when Apple planned to release computers with a free cassette of the multi-platinum album The Joshua Tree, as a way to tout what they claimed was an innovative new breakthrough in home audio technology, but was discarded after reporters discovered that the new breakthrough was actually a Macintosh SE/30 with a tapedeck glued to it.
Self promotion makes my fucking skin crawl. Here are some animated shorts I made for a contest. It would be super helpful if you pressed the LIKE button on them. Unless you don’t like them. That’s fine also.
Please someone with strong hands make my neck and shoulders stop feeling like they’ve been struck repeatedly with a ball-peen hammer. I will compensate you with money or some sort of dumb favor like a drawing or something.
Life hack: Instead of using water, put hot coffee and ground up multivitamins in your cup noodles so that you can get caffeine and nutrients all at the same JESUS FUCK, GO OUTSIDE YOU WEIRD LITTLE BABY PERSON. IS YOUR GOAL IN LIFE SERIOUSLY JUST TO SIMPLIFY EVERY SINGLE EXPERIENCE INTO THE MOST EFFICIENT MEANS OF KEEPING YOUR IDIOT MACHINE BODY GOING AS A VESSEL TO WATCH ANIME AND PLAY MMOS ALL DAY?
I always feel completely wrecked the next day whenever I have a shift that’s twelve or more hours long. No chance of getting to bed before the sun’s coming up, and I spend the day downing painkillers and shuffling around. But on the bright side, it started raining really hard around midnight last night, and I took everything out of my pockets and went running around in the parking lot for a few minutes, waving my hat around over my head and jumping in puddles.
When I was in high school, I was riding my bike around, wearing a blue work shirt that, from a distance, looked kinda like a police uniform, and a bunch of 12 yearolds started heckling me for being a cop.
Those kids were way braver and way cooler than I am.
Remember, every year on labor day, every working American can ask their boss to do one special favor for them, and if he doesn’t then Labor Dan, the Worker’s Rights gnome, will take them away in his gunnysack.
Cool tip: Instead of looking up photos of celebrities without clothes on (their bodies look like other naked people’s bodies but their faces look like famous people ???) you should watch The Twilight Zone on Netflix. That way you won’t be violating people’s privacy and dignity like a garbage person, and you’ll be watching one of the greatest achievements in television history.
My private bathroom is about 2/3ds the size of my bedroom and has the nicer window, so today I bought an extension chord to run through the rafters to make my bathroom into my office. I am living the highlife.